Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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