You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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