Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the condom got lost in my hair
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
