just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
