In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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