Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A bitchslap is in order.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
