Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
