This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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