maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
