i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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