I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
