if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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