So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
