Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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