remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
