I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
