Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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