Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
