Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
