it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize