I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
