so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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