And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Randomize
