Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
COCAINE IS GR8
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
