Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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