I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they're like a gay fantastic four
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
