my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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