i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
