so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize