Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

Those balls look pretty dangerous.

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(905): View more from Toronto

I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.

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(678): View more from Georgia

he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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(360): View more from Washington

So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

(509): View more from Washington

Isn't life beautiful?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Of course I have a pirate flag

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(510): View more from California

Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....

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