i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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