So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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