I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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