You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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