So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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