He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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