we have officially lost it.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
