Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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