I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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