You're my little dorito
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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