nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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