Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
