I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
