I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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