Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
