highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
