The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
