If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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