I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize