Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
