so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize