At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
