i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
