Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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