Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
