i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
