READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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