I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
