How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
