my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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