I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
