C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just threw up on my dentist
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
