I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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